There is always more on my heart than words can say, but I find journaling my thoughts or prayers a great exercise & makes a record to view of memories & our history - I invite you to join me if you can relate to authentic life.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Grown Ups Need Hide-Outs, Too!!!

Why don't adults have forts? I guess I know the answer to that, because adults do have forts, of a sort. For some it's their couch (in front of their t.v.), their boat, their sports game, their computer, their hobbies, or maybe the bar..... there are plenty of ways to 'hide-out' I suppose (some healthier than others).

 But, I  would seriously love a real fort. One that is built high in a tree, in a large field with woods surrounding it, where I can't be found. One that's reminiscent of the hide-outs we or our friends had as kids.  (Just in case my secret hideaway was happened upon by someone else, I suppose I would have a list of rules, you know, for traditions' sake. The sign on the outside of my fort, though, would say, 'No phones allowed! No computers allowed! No negative attitudes allowed!'. I don't have anything against boys or siblings, so I wouldn't have to ban them :) , but with the way I feel sometimes, I would like a huge sign that says 'No Trespassing!')

 I would also seriously long to run away to this fort I have in my vision with a book, camera, rocking chair and little else. I want to watch the beauty of nature, pray, reflect, read and sip strawberry lemonade with no worry of time. I don't want to be interrupted or forced to head back into the battles this life can give until I am ready. I realize I am not a child anymore and that this is not realistic - at least the part about no time constraints - but it sounds so safe and refreshing.

Sometimes this life is just so full of burdens, trials or loss that I am discouraged, weary and want to run. Run away and hide. Run and rest. Run and forget. Hide and cry. Cry out to God.   As I say these words, I realize what I've been forgetting at these times, which is probably so clear to anyone reading this - and that is that I have a hideout already, as a daughter of God.  I'm ashamed to admit what a slow learner I am. Why do I continually neglect to rush to God when life's problems start piling up? I know that I need Him more at these times, but I don't prepare by seeking Him more and hiding myself in Him more, and the result is that I feel like I need to run away. Like I have to step away for a time out so I can breathe again. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to say that God wouldn't be ok with me having a fort, especially if it gave me a chance to spend more time in being still and listening to Him. I am just remembering today that if I was guarding my heart better, I would not have the need to run away. Someday I hope to have my fort, but I hope to use it for joy, refreshment, renewal of my mind and hiding in God. Not hiding away because I've neglected to run to God first, therefore refusing His strength and protection in the midst of stress.

Ps. 119:114  "You are my hiding place and shield."

Psalm 46:1 ESV
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:10 ESV
"Be still and know that I am God."

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