There is always more on my heart than words can say, but I find journaling my thoughts or prayers a great exercise & makes a record to view of memories & our history - I invite you to join me if you can relate to authentic life.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Lead Me

Every day I live, I see more clearly how I could never navigate this life alone. 
The heartaches & sorrows of losing loved ones and the fears of losing more, shows me this. 
Even if it's not death but just a loss due to moves & distance, it shows me this.
The pain, sweat, tears & joys of being the best wife & mother I can be (not to mention daughter, sister, friend, etc.) reveals this to me. 
The struggle with chronic sinusitis & the fatigue it brings makes me very aware of this.
Seeing dreams unrealized shows me. 
The lack of control over so many things, including goals & tasks I can't seem to ever cross off the list proves this. 
The unwise words that come from my mouth, hasty decisions, and the opportunities I miss to be an encourager, a blessing, a witness, a service show this. 
The highs of being so in love with Christ & the sorrow of how often I must disappoint Him makes it painfully clear to me. 

Whether it is my physical or spiritual life - I can't do this without Christ.
So, my simple, yet desperate prayer every day is 'lead me'. 
When I don't know the right path, the right choice, the right words - lead me.
When there is sickness or need, whether it's others or my own - lead me.
When I need to focus on others and You are the One who knows who to focus on, I ask You to lead me to them.
Lead me away from myself and my selfishness.
When I need to make choices for my kids - lead me.
When I need to love my husband - lead me.
When I am scared and unsure - lead me.
In every moment, please lead me.

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